#but idk for now lets just say they have to have said it at least twice

[thesvnandthemooon]

𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

a/n: part 2. idk

summary: natasha romanoff x married!reader; nat and you used to be in love. now, years later, you're married to a wealthy man and have a daughter with him. will running into natasha change everything?

warnings: none

word count: 6.4k

part 1, part 2, part 3, …

✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷

— COOKIES AND CONVERSATIONS —

"Natasha?"

Her eyes lock with yours as she slowly straightens up, making Nina let go of her sleeve in the process. You pull your daughter closer, staring at Natasha incredulously.

"Y/N", she finally says, a tad too coolly for your liking.

"What are you doing here?", you ask, still wary. Nina has grabbed your hand, a bit confused by how icy and distant the interaction between you two seems. You both said you're friends, after all. She's too young to grasp just how complex your relationship actually is.

'Friends' is far from the truth.

Natasha looks around the lobby, noticing the stares she's getting from strangers.

Yes, she specifically. You're a familiar face around here, probably visiting every week with your daughter in tow. She, however? She's unfamiliar. A face that stands out, someone who doesn't fit in. Her traitorous brain remarks that she should be used to that feeling by now. But she isn't.

"Can we maybe move this outside?", she asks quietly, her eyes flitting back to meet yours. You frown, unsure whether you should agree to her request.

But then again, Natasha is safe. Despite the breakup, despite the years of distance — you trust her. Part of you also realizes that your conversation is being overheard, which you don't like. Too many people know too much about you already, so there's no need to give them more stuff to talk about.

"Fine." You reluctantly follow her, making sure you're holding on to your daughter. No way is she running off again. That'd be the second time within less than a week.

You look at her as soon as you're outside, standing by your car. Natasha pushes her hands into the pockets of her coat, observing you out of the corner of her eye. She still can't shake that habit, it seems — always on the lookout, always studying you. It's as endearing as it is frustrating.

"So?", you eventually say, your thumb rubbing Nina's fingers. You're trying to calm yourself down. Or keep yourself calm. Either of those. "Answer me."

Natasha's gaze briefly sweeps over your surroundings. Traffic, an empty sidewalk, that gigantic building you just exited. Nobody in vicinity, which is a relief.

"I wanted to see you", she says. A half-lie. She did want to see you, in some way at least, but that's not what she's here for. She came her to find evidence, to gather intel about your precious husband.

Can she tell you that, though?

No. Not yet.

Your expression falters for a moment, the mask of indifference crumbling and vanishing. A variety of emotions flickers across your face, unreadable yet obvious. Natasha can see every single one, making her chest feel tight with guilt.

"You've got great timing", you say weakly, feeling the early autumn breeze brush over your cheeks. "It's been seven years."

"It's been a little more than five days", Natasha corrects you, still stoic.

"You know what I mean", you say sharply. "That thing at the art gallery? Doesn't count. Besides: if you wanted to see me, why'd you come to my husband's office?"

"I didn't know this was his office", she immediately replies, which — to you — is even more ridiculous than her claiming she wanted to see you. She's a spy, for god's sake. She doesn't do anything without a purpose, especially not something like this.

"So this is a coincidence?" You let out a hollow laugh. "Natasha-"

"Okay", she says, stepping closer. You quickly look at her, feeling the urge to take a step back. You can't get close to her again. "Maybe I did know he works here. But how else was I supposed to find you?"

"Not at all would've been a start."

"Charming", she says drily, her attempt at concealing the hurt in her voice failing. "Nice to see you too."

"Oh, come on." You sigh. "I'm sorry, but this...it's odd. I didn't think you'd be the one to seek me out first after, you know...", you trail off. She smiles bitterly, averting her eyes.

"Not all of us hold grudges", she says, softer this time. "I guess you're just harder to forget than I thought."

There's a teasing lilt to her voice, something that's meant to protect you both. It doesn't work, but you appreciate the effort. Plus, it manages to elicit a small smile from you. That's more than enough for Natasha.

Nina, ever the restless one, lets go of you to grab Natasha's hand again. The woman looks down at her, a smile appearing on her lips. The child is staring at her as if she's some kind of superhero, which is pretty much spot on.

"Looks like I've been replaced", you comment, the smile on your face turning more genuine now.

Nina is sociable. She loves people of pretty much all ages and is guaranteed to talk their ears off. Still, this kind of immediate fascination is something you haven't seen before. Like mother like daughter, it seems. When you first met Natasha, you felt this kind of enchantment as well. It's a spell that's hard to break.

"I am very likable", Natasha boasts playfully, grinning at your daughter. The little one turns to look at you, pleased that she made the pretty lady smile at her.

"Mommy, she's nice", she pipes up. "Can we get cookies? You promised."

"I did promise cookies", you sigh, shooting her an affectionate look. Then you glance at Natasha. "We were supposed to pick up a snack on our way home", you say sheepishly. "Care to join us?"

"Change of heart?", the redhead teases.

"Yeah, well..." You crack a smile. You're aware you went from pissed off to mildly flustered, all within the span of mere minutes. It'd throw her off guard if she wasn't still familiar with it. "It's always been difficult to stay mad at you."

Natasha hums, looking at Nina again. The girl smiles as if on cue, bouncing on the spot.

"Please?"

"Will I get a cookie, too?", Natasha asks, raising her eyebrows.

Nina nods. "You can have one", she says, her tone generous yet slightly self-important. You and Natasha exchange an amused look — it's a kind and genuine offer, but the way she's saying it makes it sound like the cookies are hers to give away. You're starting to see why your parents have called your daughter spoiled before.

"Looks like the boss has spoken. So, you're joining us?"

"I can't say no to Miss Nina here", Natasha confirms, squeezing Nina's hand.

"Nobody can", you huff, smiling, and take Nina's free hand. "There's a café down the block. We can walk there."

To say that this is weird would be more than just an understatement.

You haven't seen her in years. Haven't talked to her, haven't texted her, nothing. Refusal to reach out from both sides resulted in complete radio silence. And now?

Now you're walking down the street together, both of you holding onto Nina as she walks between you. You're not talking — thankfully, your daughter has decided to do that for you. She's chattering nonstop, her little voice ringing through the air.

It's warm inside the café, with the scent of pumpkin spice wafting right into your faces. Nina instantly lets go of you both, running up to the counter to inspect the pastries. She clasps her hands together in front of her, as if to prevent herself from touching the glass that's separating her from the sweet treats.

"She's a good kid", Natasha says quietly as you catch up to the girl. "She must get that from you."

You smile slightly, glancing at the woman next to you. Your gaze gets stuck, lingers, traces her features. You never could've forgotten what she looks like — not in a million years — but she's even more beautiful than you remembered.

Natasha notices you staring. She looks at you from the corner of her eye, subtly tilting her head. "What?", she asks softly.

"Nothing", you respond in a low murmur, quickly digging through your purse. "It's just weird seeing you here."

She manages a faint smile, silently agreeing with your words. Her eyes zero in on your wallet as you reach for a few dollar bills and her hand comes up to gently stop you.

"I got this", she says, reaching for her own money.

"No, hey-"

"Hush", she says firmly, then gives the barista a polite smile. She lets Nina order her own cookie (the rainbow one, of course), then she lists off everything else. Chocolate chip cookies — a classic —, an espresso and your favorite beverage.

You hide your smile, trying to get over the fact that she still remembers.

You find a quiet, secluded corner of the café, and sit down there. The sky is littered with clouds, covering the sun and allowing the soft lights of the café to be the star of the show.

Nina is tucked into the corner seat between you, her little hands breaking the cookie in two. Her excitement over something so mundane is serving as a buffer between you and Natasha, helping you through initial awkward silences.

"It's a nice place", Natasha comments, taking a sip of her espresso. "Much better than that place in D.C. with the squeaky chairs."

"And the bitter coffee", you add, looking at her. You reach out, tapping the frame of the glasses she's wearing. Those are definitely new. "Didn't know you need glasses now."

"I don't", Natasha says, quickly sliding the glasses off her face. Her eyes meet yours, deep green and softened. "They just help me be recognized less, believe it or not."

"I recognized you", you counter, stirring the hot drink in front of you before taking a tentative sip.

"Yes, you did", she says pointedly, glancing at Nina as she holds out a piece of her cookie. The girl has her head tilted sweetly.

"Trade?"

"Sure, honey", Natasha says, handing her a piece of her own cookie in exchange. Then she focuses on you again. "Now let's hope the rest of Manhattan isn't as sharp-eyed as you."

You roll your eyes, an amused sound escaping you. "Well, don't look at me. I don't think a pair of glasses could ever make you blend in." You pause, a thought crossing your mind. "What are you hiding from, anyways?"

Natasha looks at you, her brain — again — settling on a half-truth. "You know me. From the rest of Manhattan, pretty much."

"Right", you say, smiling faintly. "Always on the run."

"Old habits die hard", she says wryly, leaning back with her arms crossed. Irony — her very own way of suppressing the guilt that's starting to rear its head. She's lying to you pretty much constantly, keeping secrets and finding excuses.

Natasha has reasons for that. She can't just tell you what's going on, not until she knows for sure. Until then, you might be of use.

Telling herself that is easier than admitting why she's actually sitting here with you.

"Funny. I thought you'd have found some peace by now." You tilt your head pointedly. "Or at least a better disguise."

"Me and peace in the same sentence? Never thought I'd see the day", she says, finishing her espresso. "And the disguise? It's low-maintenance."

You let out a sound that's between a laugh and a scoff, wiping a few cookie crumbs off Nina's face absently. She rubs her eyes tiredly and you place a soothing hand on her back. "You were never low-maintenance."

"I thought I was charmingly uncomplicated", she smiles, briefly glancing at Nina to check on her. The girl looks sleepy, so it must be nap time for her soon.

"Yes, sure. If that's what you'd call having three passports in the glove compartment whenever you drove me anywhere."

The sole purpose of the smirk on Natasha's face is to hide a wince. It wasn't just the passports — it was everything that came with being with her. Switching cars while driving in the middle of the night, being prepared to run at any given moment. Making sure she could up and go whenever she wanted. Never entirely grounded, one foot always in the shadows.

Her existence was unpredictable, untethered. A stark contrast to the safe but stifling life you lead now, filled with monotony and routines.

Being with her allowed you to soar, even if it sometimes meant crashing down.

"Touché", Natasha says, watching you smooth down Nina's hair. Yet another new mannerism you've picked up — an endearing one at that. "Makes me wonder why you didn't run."

"Maybe I liked the thrill", you reply, looking at her again. Nina's head droops onto your arm for a moment. She's definitely ready for her nap. "Or maybe I liked the person behind the passports."

"That person hasn't changed as much as you may think."

"I think we've both changed."

Natasha watches you scoop the yawning child into your lap. Nina nestles against you, her eyes closing.

She never thought she'd see you like this: all motherly and nurturing, quietly soothing a child — your child. So maybe you have a point. Maybe you did change.

"Maybe", she admits, giving a small smile. "Some things don't, though."

"Like what?", you ask quietly, a hint of challenge in your voice.

Natasha leans forward, her gaze holding yours. The café, the people around you, the noises and smells — it all disappears. At least for a moment, it does.

"Like the way I recognized you, too."

. . .

— THE WEB UNFOLDS —

Her office is small but efficient, filled with the tools of her trade. Screens glowing with data, paperwork and open files scattered across her desk, a steaming mug of tea. She toys with a pen as she scans the financial documents she retrieved once more, one name standing out: Durant Enterprises.

Multiple transfers to and from said company, the amounts large and the descriptions vague. It's the frequency that makes her pause. This isn't just routine business — it's deliberate.

Natasha feels on edge as she puts her pen aside, now pulling up a secondary window on her screen. She cross-references the company with known entities in her database and starts to dig.

At first, Durant Enterprises doesn't raise alarms. Everything seems ordinary until more troubling details surface.

Natasha pauses, her hands stilling. She stares at the screen, feeling a chill run down her spine.

Ties to overseas operations, suspiciously under-the-radar accounts — and, most notably, an association with human trafficking syndicates.

She swallows, her fingers continuing to move over the keyboard in a rapid pace. A list of contacts connected to Ethan catches her eye, several names matching aliases from SHIELD's database of traffickers and corrupt officials. A few of the numbers that are listed appear to be burner phones, heightening her suspicions.

Natasha plugs in the USB stick and runs a deep scan of the files on Ethan's computer. A dense folder of corporate documents, mostly financial data — endless spreadsheets, balance sheets, transaction records. But, nestled among them, an invoice marked for 'freight services' from a shipping company she's never heard of.

It's not an innocent transaction — the total is unsettlingly large.

She pulls up the details, her eyes narrowing as she connects the dots to previous intel. And there it is again: an obscure company, linked to the same shadowy network she's seen before.

Dammit, Bailey, she thinks, taking a hasty sip of tea. What are you dragging them into?

As expected, her thoughts have drifted back to you. To you and Nina, completely oblivious to what Ethan — the man who's supposed to protect you and care for you — is doing.

And then there's Natasha — about to tear this entire network down, about to expose him to his family and countless others. She knows you'll have to find out eventually; it's only fair, after all. You deserve to know the full truth, even if it'll add yet another weight to your shoulders.

Part of her wonders whether you'll forgive her. She's been lying to you ever since that night at the art gallery, and she continues lying to you constantly. It's what she has to do to protect you and Nina.

Lingering affection wars with duty. Shield you from all of this or tell you the truth, let you live in this little bubble you've created for yourself or make it burst. Natasha shouldn't let her feelings get in the way, especially not when this entire mess concerns you and your daughter as well.

Every part of her being is trying to stop her from getting you involved in this. You don't deserve to be a part of this — but here you are.

And she's certain she'll do everything in her power to protect you, even if it means losing you once and for all.

Natasha sets the tea aside and grabs her phone. Her finger hovers above the call button for an excruciatingly long moment, then she decides against it. She leans back in her chair, starting to massage her temples. A dull ache has started to form behind her eyes.

It's a realization, a resolve, that hurts.

She'll have to use you somehow.

. . .

— MOMENTS IN FOCUS —

The sunlight filtering through the windows has a richness to it, making everything appear softer and more vibrant. Leaves dance in front of the floor to ceiling windows, shades of amber and russet that make the scenery outside look like the perfect October morning.

You look up from the ingredients in front of you — bananas, berries, a handful of spinach, all ready to be thrown into the blender — when you hear footsteps approach. Ethan pauses at your side, briefly glancing up from his phone to press a short kiss to your cheek. 

"Good morning", he says, looking like the epitome of effortlessness. Hair wet and slicked back, a crisp white robe tied loosely around his waist. Nina doesn't even notice him; she's too engrossed in the picture in front of her, her tongue sticking out as she focuses on coloring within the lines of the butterfly. "What's on the menu?"

"Smoothies, scrambled eggs, yogurt with granola", you list off, turning on the blender. It hums softly as the colors swirl together, creating a nice pinkish shade.

"Hear that, Nina?", he asks, leaning against the counter next to you. She barely looks at him before going back to coloring, now choosing a purple crayon. "Jesus. We've really got to make sure she pays more attention. This is rude behavior."

"She's tired", you defend her, pouring the smoothie into two glasses and one plastic cup. "Also, it's 7 in the morning. You can't expect her to function properly at this hour, Ethan."

"Why not?", he counters, reaching around you to grab one of the smoothies. He takes a few big gulps, already sitting down at the breakfast table and reaching for the newspaper. "She's almost four. It's time she learns some manners."

"She has manners", you retort, crouching down in front of your daughter. She stops coloring, her eyes meeting yours expectantly as she waits for you to say something. "Breakfast is ready, sweetheart. Are you hungry?"

"No", Nina says, but gets up anyway. You smile and swiftly lift her into the air, then sit her down on the chair with her booster seat. She reaches for her cup, holding it with both hands as she takes a sip. "That's yummy."

"Thank you, baby." A kiss is planted on the top of her head, then you join them at the table.

Ethan looks up from the newspaper, casually drumming his fingers on the surface of the table. "Do you have anything planned for today?"

"Not that I know, no", you say, glancing at him. "Why? Did something come up?"

"Oh, yeah. This magazine — Art & Culture Monthly, you probably know them — called this morning. They want to feature the gallery's grand opening in their upcoming issue. It's a pretty big deal, you know? Anyway, they'll interview me and also feature our family."

You can hear the excitement in his voice, causing you to smile faintly. Of course — another thing he can add to his long list of achievements. You can't believe you thought he'd ask if you wanted to do something normal. Go to a pumpkin patch, maybe visit a park. Simple, ordinary things.

"Whatever. They want to take a few pictures of us later today — you, me, the kid. It'll be great for the gallery's reputation, and it'll really solidify our place in the art scene."

Your smile fades a bit. A photo shoot. You've done a couple of those before, but they were always for private usage. You don't want Nina's face to be printed in some magazine everyone can buy, even if basically no one would recognize her anyway.

"I don't know", you say hesitantly, handing Nina a napkin. She has some of the smoothie smeared across her chin and cheeks. "It's a bit unexpected. Plus, Nina is too young for that. She won't be able to sit still for that long."

"Hey, it's okay", he says, brushing off your concerns. "You'll be fine, Nina. Won't you? Anyways-" He turns to you without waiting for an answer, "it's a huge opportunity for us — for me, really. They want to showcase the perfect family, and we're pretty much spot on."

The perfect family — husband, wife, cute little daughter. Well-off but still relatable, at least in a way. Always happy, always fitting society's expectations. You're tired of being pushed into this mold.

You sigh, glancing at your daughter. She looks at you, not understanding too much. "Photos?", she asks curiously.

"Yeah, photos. A photo shoot", you say, feeling uneasy. "Are you sure this is necessary?"

"Come on", your husband pushes impatiently. "It won't take too long. Besides — it's not like you have anything to do, do you? You'd spend the entire day sitting around. At least you'll make yourself useful."

You roll your eyes. Yes, that's definitely the case. It's not like you have a toddler to take care of, right? And even if you do — it can't be as hard as what Ethan does, obviously.

"When do we have to be there?"

"Two hours", he says happily, eating a bite of his scrambled eggs. "By the way, did you put chives in this? You know I don't like chives."

. . .

It's an upscale studio, bustling with assistants, lights and backdrops. Ethan is just as polished as the space you're in, immediately stepping up to the photographer — an older man, balding, with tiny glasses and a sweater vest — and staff to charm them. You keep your daughter close, feeling out of place.

As much as you hate this — you have to admit that Nina looks impossibly cute in her outfit. A white cabled fisherman sweater, matching yours, paired with denim jeans in a light wash. A pastel yellow headband is keeping her hair out of her face, making her cheeks look even rosier than usually.

"Mommy, this is itchy", she whispers, tugging at the front of her sweater. You grimace, quietly sympathizing with your daughter. The fabric doesn't exactly feel nice on your skin.

"I know, honey", you reply in a hushed voice, making sure the assistants and photographer don't hear you.

"And it's bright", she adds, squinting as she accidentally looks at one of the lights. You snort in amusement, gently making her turn away so she doesn't let the brightness fry her eyes.

"Yeah, I know. It'll be over soon, alright?"

"You ready?", one of the assistants says, waving you over. You nod and gently nudge Nina along.

The photographer positions you in various poses — Nina perched on Ethan's knee, Ethan with his arm around you, you holding Nina. It feels rehearsed, like they know exactly what they want to sell. Which, realistically speaking, is probably the case here.

Picture after picture, pose after pose. You're not the only one who starts to get restless. You spot Nina fidgeting more than once, subtly reaching into her pockets to make sure her crayons are still there — crayons she brought along secretly.

"Stop that, please", the photographer's voice cuts through the air. You don't like the irritated tone with which he's speaking one bit, but you decide to ignore him.

Nina stops, quickly pulling her hand out of her pocket.

"Yes, perfect. Ideal!", he gushes, continuing to snap pictures of you. You smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes. You silently wonder whether anyone will look at the pictures and realize that you'd rather be anywhere else. Ethan won't, that's for sure — he's beaming, oblivious to your discomfort.

"Mommy?", Nina whispers as you pick her up, already clutching her crayons in her smaller hand. You're finally done after what feels like an eternity of posing and smiling stiffly. "Can we go home now?"

"Yes, sweetheart, we're going home", you nod, letting her nestle into you. "Let's just finish up here, okay?"

"Okay", she mumbles, her crayons pressed against the clean fabric of your sweater. They'll most likely leave stains, but you couldn't care less about that. You're just relieved you're done with this.

The drive home isn't silent, to your dismay. Ethan keeps going on and on and on about how great the photos are and how important this is and how it'll certainly elevate his public image. He's talking so much you're surprised Nina managed to doze off in her seat, her chin resting on her chest.

You don't bother responding — instead, you just stare out the window, your mind drifting. You wonder whether Natasha would've laughed at how absurd this whole thing is. You wonder what's she's doing, whether she's thinking about you.

In that moment, you get a text message.

Natasha: Hey, Y/N. This is a bit random, but does Ethan know a few guys in the whole arts world?

I'm looking into something for Tony. — 2.17 pm

You: Hey! I can ask him for a few of his

contacts and send you a list, maybe? — 2.17 pm

Natasha: That's perfect, thank you. — 2.18 pm

You look to your left when Nina stirs. She looks at your phone, rubbing one of her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Who is that?"

"That's Natasha", you say. Ethan doesn't even notice. He's now telling your chauffeur about the feature, again rambling about the interview and the art gallery. Part of you is thankful for that.

"Natasha?" Nina suddenly doesn't seem so sleepy anymore as her eyes light up. "Say hi!"

You smile at your daughter's enthusiasm. Seems like she's really starting to adore the redhead.

You: By the way, Nina says hi. She's all smiley. — 2.19pm

Natasha: Right back at her :) — 2.20pm

Natasha: Are you guys in town next week? There's this park near

the old tower, I think she'd love it. (I promise I won't hog the cookies

this time.) — 2.21pm

You glance at Nina. She looks at you, wide-eyed and practically buzzing with excitement.

"Natasha's asking if we want to go to a park with her", you say, reaching out to adjust her seatbelt. "What do you say, NeeNee?"

Your daughter immediately nods. "Yes, I want to go! Can we go?"

You smile faintly. "Sure, we'll go."

You text Natasha back, confirming the day and time. Then you slip your phone into your pocket.

You let out a small breath, your lips curving into a smile before you even realize it. The weight of your lousy day lingers, but it seems lighter now.

The idea of seeing Natasha tugs at your chest in a way you weren't prepared to unpack. It's almost absurd, how a simple text exchange could bring you such warmth. There's a faint flutter beneath your ribs, caused by a mix of excitement and a wary kind of anticipation.

It's been years, yet you still don't know what it is about Natasha Romanoff that can do this to you with such little effort.

. . .

It's a nice day — the October sun is warm but not overbearing, the chatter of children is echoing through the open space. You get out of the car and scoop the squirming child out of her booster seat, her hand tightly clutching her favorite stuffed bear. You set her on the ground, making sure she doesn't just run off.

"Mommy, can we go there first?", she asks, pointing at the swings. You smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Let's find Natasha first, sweetheart. Then maybe she can push you."

Your suggestion earns a gleeful nod. With her hand clasped in yours, you start making your way down the winding path leading into the park. The late-afternoon light dapples the ground through the trees, creating a peaceful but slightly surreal atmosphere — though maybe that's just your nerves.

You spot Natasha near a quiet corner of the park, leaning casually against the wooden fence by the playground. Her pose is relaxed, but her sharp eyes are scanning the area around her.

Once she sees you, her face softens.

"Natasha!", Nina yells, voice bubbling with excitement, and frees herself from your gentle grip to dart forward.

Natasha crouches down just in time to catch the girl in a gentle hug, her expression warm. "Hey, Tiny!"

You ignore the nickname and the way it sends butterflies through your stomach. Instead you approach her, your steps hesitant but steady. She straightens up, her eyes meeting yours, and the park fades into the background.

You feel a small rush of warmth — one that leaves you confused.

"Hi", you say, your voice quieter than intended.

"Hi", she responds, her tone equally soft. But her gaze lingers, taking you in, and the curve of her lips hints at something deeper. "Should we sit? Or does Nina have a playground mission I should know about?"

Nina tugs at Natasha's hand, a grin on her face. "Swings first!"

The little girl manages to slightly break the tension. You let out a laugh, shooting your daughter a fond look. "Looks like you've got your orders."

"Please", Nina adds, remembering the magic word. She keeps pulling at Natasha's hand, who plays along easily. She follows Nina to the playground, all while exchanging a brief look with you — a silent 'Is this okay?'

"Go ahead", you say, nodding, and follow them to the swings.

Leaves crunch beneath the soles of your shoes, the air having a slight bite to it already. A boy, slightly older than Nina, runs past with his father chasing after him. Laughter and voices carry through the air, allowing you to relax a little.

Natasha makes sure Nina's holding on tight before she takes the lead in pushing her. You stand next to them, arms loosely crossed over your chest to preserve some warmth.

"Higher!", Nina promptly demands, trying to glance at Natasha over the thick fabric of her scarf.

"Higher? What are you, a little daredevil in training? You're going to give your mom a heart attack!"

"She's already started", you say, mildly exasperated. "You should've seen her last week, when she tried to climb the bookshelf."

"Huh." Natasha smiles, her eyes briefly meeting yours. There it is again, that annoying tug of warmth. "Sounds like someone I used to know."

You huff, but you can't deny the truth behind her words. You shrug, pushing your hands into the pockets of your coat.

"You never complained."

"I didn't", she agrees, gently stopping the swing when Nina starts to talk about the merry-go-round. "Doesn't mean you didn't make my nerves fray, though."

"Please." You start walking to the merry-go-round, watching Nina speed ahead. "If anyone's nerves were frayed, it's mine. I watched you leave for missions on a weekly basis. I can't even count how many times I stitched you up afterwards."

"You make it sound like I was some kind of wrecking ball", she smirks.

"You didn't need to be." You let out an amused chuckle, your eyes glued to Nina as she sits down on the circular bench of the merry-go-round. "You were a force of nature, and I spent most of my time just trying to hold it together while you ran off into the chaos."

"You always did", she agrees, her voice quieter now. You stop when you reach the merry-go-round, watching Nina as she starts to spin around. "You were good at it, though. At stitching me up, I mean. Better than I deserved most days."

"Very true", you say, trying to keep it light. "I think I deserved a medal for keeping up with you."

"You mean for putting up with me?", Natasha corrects you, her hand briefly touching the handle of the merry-go-round to make sure it doesn't spin too fast.

A faint smile forms on your face. She's not entirely wrong — some of the time, it really was 'putting up with her'. Rolling with it, with her lifestyle, with the way every day seemed to be pure chaos.

You know it's not her fault. It's who she is, it's the life she ended up choosing for herself after never getting to have a choice. You were patient, too — you understood why she had to do all those things. Why she could never just rest.

"I'm just saying: most people would've thrown their hands up after the third emergency stitch job", you say mock seriously, earning a quiet laugh.

"Good thing you're not most people", she says, her smirk letting some tenderness shimmer through.

"Yeah", you agree, watching her. She's looking at Nina again, making sure she isn't spinning too fast or getting dizzy. Again and again you realize the same thing: only days later, Natasha fits in perfectly. Maybe that's what scares you the most. "Real good."

. . .

With Nina playing in a sandbox, you and Natasha get to be alone for a moment. You never take your eyes off your daughter to make sure she stays right where she is, but most of your attention is on the woman sitting next to you.

"I never knew how fast things could change", you speak softly, your words lingering in the chilly air. "I mean — one moment, I was making all these big plans. And now?"

"...now, you're a mom", Natasha says, smiling faintly as Nina smushes down her sandcastle.

"Yeah, exactly."

"You found a calmer life", she says, half to herself. It's bittersweet — she's glad you made it to a place where you don't have to worry about her or the dangers that come with the territory anymore. Now, your days are filled with cartoons and picture books and colorful bandaids. No more midnight missions, no more bloodies bandages. "A safer one."

"Calm and safe, sure", you mumble absently. "But I'm not so sure about...better."

Natasha turns to look at you, frowning slightly. What you said is odd enough, but the way you said it really threw her off. She scoots closer, her voice lowered.

"What are you talking about?"

You open your mouth to answer, but before you can say anything, Nina calls out to you. She's running, one hand clutching her teddybear. "I'm thirsty, mommy."

"Come here, honey." You grab a juice box from your backpack and hand it to her. She struggles with the straw for a moment, then she manages to poke it through the hole. The straw is now covered in grains of sand, making you grimace — but, of course, your daughter doesn't care about that.

She empties the juice box in record time, then she tosses it into the trash can. Off she goes again, her eyes locking onto the pony spring-rider. Natasha watches her with increasing fondness, silently wondering whether, in some other, faraway universe, this is what her life looks like.

"Always on the go", you say quietly, watching her. "So full of energy, I swear."

"I guess that's why I like her so much", Natasha says, glancing at you. You smile.

"She reminds you of yourself, huh?"

Natasha laughs under her breath, shrugging. "Maybe. Though I hope not too much."

You look down at your lap, at your hands that are resting there, and subtly toy with the ring on your finger. Your gaze shifts back to Natasha, a small, wistful smile on your face.

"I disagree. I wouldn't mind if she was a bit...wilder." You bite your lip, then add: "Like you. I mean, you were the one always pushing me out of my comfort zone. It was part of the deal: I tried to rein you in — unsuccessfully —, and you kept pushing."

Natasha smiles, her hand briefly reaching out to squeeze yours. You exhale softly at the simple touch — you haven't felt her skin against yours in years, but it's still the same.

"Did I ever do it right?", she ponders. "Push you the way you needed?"

"Maybe not always", you admit. "But you made me feel alive. Even when it was complicated."

. . .

"For you!", Nina says, handing a flower — a chrysanthemum — to Natasha. The redhead smiles, taking the small plant and twirling it between her fingers.

"A flower? For me? I'm honored!" Natasha turns to look at you, a teasing look on her face. "See? She already likes me better than most people."

You chuckle, lifting Nina into your arms. "I wouldn't be so sure", you say, smiling back just as teasingly. "She gave the mailman a flower last week, too."

"Oh really? And here I thought I was special."

You hum, adjusting your hold on your daughter. "You are special", you say, this time completely sincerely. You can't remember the last time Ethan spent the whole day with you like this — simply existing, doing things that aren't work-related, making sure Nina has fun. This was Natasha's idea, too — not yours. For the first time in a while, you don't feel isolated.

You clear your throat, giving a quick nod. "Well, uhm...thank you. For this. She really had fun."

Natasha hesitates, her gaze flickering from the flower to your face. "I didn't just come for her", she eventually speaks, the words hanging in the air as you exchange a look. You swallow, managing a faint smile.

"Let's not get too sentimental", you say, trying to sound lighthearted. You nudge Nina to distract yourself. "Say bye, honey."

Nina waves at Natasha. A few hours of playing outside in the fresh air have turned her cheeks rosy. "Bye, Natasha!"

"Bye, Tiny."

Another quick glance at each other, then you part ways. Natasha goes in one direction, you go in the other. Years linger between you, years that were spent together and that keep you close. There's a pull that's close to magnetic, and you're not sure how you managed to resist it for such a long time.

Both of you wonder whether you were ever able to truly leave your past behind — or if, somehow, you're still tangled in it, just waiting for the right moment to unravel.

✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷

🌙 tagged (as per request): @fxckmiup

[0deathpainting0]

third date

choso x f!reader

first date   second date

summary: a home date w choso leads to sharing more kisses and feelings

warnings: 16+ idk they kiss a lot -> to making out -> to dry humping, cumming in their pants and being embarrassed abt it, swearing, overly cute and soft ofc! 

a/n: literally have no timeline planned for this 🧎🏼‍♀️ i wanna say we’ll at least get two more ‘chapters’ at some point :,)

w/c: 4.7k im sorry???

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“Soooo what’re you guys gonna do today?” Yuji pokes his head into Choso’s room. 

“She said she wants me to come over and watch movies.” Choso glances at him before pulling a hoodie over his head. “New rules? No rules?” 

“No, no, no, always rules.” he pushes his way into the room and flops back on his bed. 

“Well what rules then?” Choso’s eyebrows knit together.

“Compliment her.” 

“Of course, always.” Choso nods. 

“Pay if she wants to order in.” Yuji props himself up. 

“Mhm.” 

“Wear a condom.” Yuji shrugs his shoulders and he giggles watching Choso’s eyes widen. 

“Why would I need to wear a condom to watch a movie?” he shakes his head. 

“Cause when she takes you to her cuddly bed and is all over you and-

“Stop.” Choso gasps. “No. That’s not happening.” he shakes his head again. “We’re just watching movies. I’ll be home later.” he grabs his keys and walks out of his room. 

“I was just kidding, Cho.” Yuji calls after him. 

“Mm.” he shrugs him off and walks out the front door. He starts down the block and groans when he hears his phone ding. 

yuji: most important rule is to respect all her plushies like they’re ppl and got their own feelings and stuff 

He shakes his head and shoves his phone back in his pocket. He hasn’t even thought about sex with you. Well.. He has.. but not that it was happening anytime soon. But now all he can think about is that. Is that what you want today? No. You want to watch movies and give him his fourth kiss. A new kind of kiss you said. Not just a small peck. 

But oh how he cherished those three pecks you offered him. Your lip gloss was so sweet and your lips were so soft. You scent surrounding him, your warmth. He shakes his head trying to get those thoughts out of his head. When he looks up his feet have him stopped in front of your building. He grabs his phone out to text you and the wind is knocked from his chest when you wrap your arms around him. 

“How are you?” you look up at him as he wraps his arms around you. 

“I’m good.” he nods. 

“Are you ready to watch some movies?” you offer him another squeeze before grabbing his hand. 

“Yeah.” he offers you a small smile and you start to tug him into your building. 

“What were your rules today?” you chew your lip as you both wait for the elevator. “Any new ones?” you watch his cheeks flush. 

“I um.. Yeah.” he clears his throat. “I’m supposed to treat your plushies with respect.” he hears your small giggle as you pull him into the elevator doors. 

“You should.” you purse your lips up at him. “They’re all very soft and sweet.” 

“Just like you.” the words slip out of his mouth before he can stop them. 

“So are you.” you hum and reach up to pinch his cheek. “So cute.” the elevator door opens and you lead him to your door. He’s suddenly struck with nerves at being truly alone with you. Yuji should’ve neve- “You coming in?” you tilt your head at him. 

“Yeah, I‘m sorry.” he nods and walks over to you but you block the doorway. 

“I have a rule of my own.” you blink up at him. 

“What is it?” his voice unsteady. 

“No more unnecessary apologies.” you smile watching him form a small smile. 

“I’ll try.” he nods and steps closer. 

You step aside and let him inside and watch him look around. The smell of you slams into him and he has to steady his feet. Your sweetness wraps around his senses like a warm hug as he walks deeper into your apartment. You glide past him into the living room and he watches the way your hips swish a little too long and the way your shorts- if he could even call them that, ride higher with each step before shaking his head to clear his mind. He follows after you and his eyes widen when he sees the spread you have laid out for today. Drinks and snacks on the table, the plush couch coated in blankets and pillows with the lights dimmed just perfectly to make it comfy and warm. 

“Should I have brought something?” he looks at you suddenly nervous. 

“All I wanted you to bring was yourself.” you grab his hand and lead him over to the couch. You have him settle on the couch and hold back your giggle as he looks up at you lost. “Just relax, Cho.” you brush his hair back and he groans as your nails scrape over his scalp. “Do you want something to drink?” 

“Please.” he looks up at you with lidded eyes. 

You turn and pick a drink and offer it to him with a warm smile. You grab the remote and blanket and plop down on the couch next to him. He watches you get comfortable and his eyes slightly widen when you lean against him. You pull a blanket over yourself and spread it over him cocooning you two together. Once the tv is turned on you glance up at him and see that he’s still sitting up straight and staring ahead. 

“Is it okay that I’m cuddling you?” you lean back suddenly nervous that you’re overstepping. 

“Yeah, I just.. I dunno how you want me to hold you. What if I do a bad job?” he furrows his brows. 

“Then I’ll kick you out.” his eyes widen. “I’m kidding.” you giggle. “Just lean back and get comfy.” you nod and he starts to relax more into your couch. “Now I‘m gonna lean back against you and you’re gonna wrap your arm around me. Kinda like a hug.” you nod, scooting closer and hum as his arm wraps around you. 

“Like this?” he can feel how fast his heart his beating and all he can think about is how his hand is resting on your waist and the small patch of skin his fingers brushed against. 

“Yeah.” you scoot even closer. “You smell good.” you let your eyes shut abandoning the tv for a moment. 

“Thank you.” he squeezes your side softly. 

“What do you wanna watch?” you’re still entranced with his warmth and cologne. 

“Anything you want.” he peeks down at you curled against him. 

You hum and start to flip through different apps looking for a movie. You smile and click play on one of your favorites before curling back against him. You pull the blanket closer and blink up at him waiting for him to wrap his arm around you. Choso slowly wraps his arm back around you and tries his best to remain calm as his fingers rest against your skin. 

He’s been able to relax more and get more comfortable as you both scoot closer to one another. You look up at him every so often to see if he’s enjoying the movie and you smile when you find his eyes glued to the screen. You lean back against him and he offers you a soft squeeze. Your cheeks start to flush when he starts to rub his thumb against you and you lose all focus on the movie too absorbed in his soft touch. When the movie comes to an end and you start to pull back but his arm tightens around you.

“Was just gonna get a snack.” you turn your head and place your lips against his chest and his heart stops. 

“I‘m sorry.” he’s embarrassed by his actions. 

“What did I say?” you squish his cheeks together and his eyes widen. 

“I..” he looks at you with round eyes. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” you press your lips to his quickly before standing up. 

His cheeks flush as you brush his hair back. He doesn’t know what to say so he just looks up at you and can’t help but glance at your lips. He wants another kiss but he doesn’t know how to ask. 

“Do you want something?” you whisper feeling the need pouring off of him. 

“Another.” his voice borderline a whine.

“Another kiss?” you step closer to him. 

“Yes.” he nods up at you. 

“A new kind?” he nods his head again. “Can I get closer?” you tilt your head. 

“Yeah.” he freezes when you start to crawl into his lap. 

“This okay?” he tilts his chin up to look at you. 

“Mhm.” he fists the blankets at his side. 

“I’m gonna use my tongue.” you whisper letting your lips brush against his. “Okay?” you smile hearing him gasp before quickly nodding his head. “Close your eyes.” he lets his eyes flutter shut. 

You press your lips to his and when your tongue swipes against his lower lip he gasps again allowing you to slip your tongue into his mouth. His hands fly to your waist and you press closer to him. He feels like he’s on fire as you deepen the kiss. Your fingers tangle in his hair and he moans into your mouth. His tongue slides against yours and you smile scooting closer as his fingers dig into your skin. You both stay connected for minutes, neither one wanting to let go. 

“Fuck.” he groans, when you roll your hips.

“Did you like the new kiss?” you pull back take in his swollen lips and pink cheeks. 

“Yeah,” he squeezes his fingers and realizes how hard he’s holding you. “I‘m sorry I didn’t mean to hold you like that.” he hopes he didn’t hurt you. 

“Stop apologizing.” you smile. “You can hold me like that.” you nod. “I like it.” he locks his eyes to yours. 

“Can I kiss you again before we start another movie?” his low words seep over your skin as he squeezes your waist. 

“Yeah.” you nod. 

You squeak when he leans up and presses his lips to yours. He slowly pushes his tongue into your mouth trying to replicate your moves. He likes the small sounds you’re making and he pulls you closer. You absentmindedly rock your hips and his fingers dig into your hips. His heart races at the feeling and he can’t stop the low groan that comes from him. He pulls back and grips your hips to halt you and looks at you with lidded eyes and a heaving chest. 

“We should watch a movie.” you nod your head at his words. 

You slowly scoot off of his lap and stand once more to grab a snack from the table. He lifts the blanket for you and you curl into his side once more and share your snack with him. You pick another movie and smile that he’s comfortable enough to wrap his arm around you and hold you closer than before. He hears you let out a small noise when he starts rubbing little circles into your exposed waist. He’s watching the movie but all that’s playing through his mind is the way you were pressed against him. Your small sounds and how warm you were. 

“Why are you blushing, Choso?” you nibble your lip as you blink up at him. 

“I‘m not.” he shakes his head, willing his cheeks to cool. “You should be watching the movie, not me.” your eyes widen at his tone. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you so firm.” you smile up at him. “Now you’re blushing even more.” you giggle and he tosses his head back. “And now I can’t even see your face.” you sigh. 

“You’re supposed to be watching the movie anyway.” he squeezes your side. 

“So are you.” you pout. 

“I’m trying to but you’re teasing me.” he lifts his head up to peek at you. 

“I‘m not.” you purse your lips. “I think you look so cute with your pink cheeks.” you get up to kneel to get a better look. “Loooook at you.” you coo cupping his cheeks. He groans and goes to cover his face but you lean in and press your lips to his. “Want me to stop?” you mumble against his lips. 

“No.” he presses his lips back to yours. 

“Just feel like I'm kissing you a lot today.” you hum as you start to press kisses up his jaw. 

“I..” he pants. “I‘m not complaining.” he grabs your waist as you start to crawl into his lap again. “I don’t want you to feel like-“ he can’t stop the whine that comes from his mouth when you press your lips to his neck. “Like you have to kiss me.” he breathes out quickly. 

“I think I could kiss you all day.” you whisper against his neck. “And it still wouldn’t be enough.” you trace a small heart on his heated skin with your tongue.

The moment your tongue touches his skin he melts into your couch. You smile as you continue to place open mouthed kisses on his skin listening to his strained noises. You pull back and take in his heavy lids and press your lips to his once more. He pulls you closer and pushes his tongue past your lips. His touch is much more possessive than it has ever been and it’s exciting you to no end. 

His hands have your shirt bunched up just enough for him to squeeze your bare waist. He groans at how soft your skin is and decides he wants to kiss more than just your lips too. He kisses the side of your mouth and you tilt your head to the side as he starts to press his lips up your jaw. The sound that comes from your mouth when he presses his lips to your neck has him prepared to sit here and kiss you in the same spot for hours.. days.. 

He keeps exploring the soft skin of your neck and finds himself moving towards your throat. You melt even more when one of his hands leaves your waist to tilt your head to the other side so he can kiss across the other side. He can hear how heavy you’re breathing along with your little gasps that send him reeling. Your hands are tangled into the hair at the nape of his neck and you offer them soft tugs when he lets his tongue slip out against your heated skin. 

“Choso,” you let out the breathiest whine of his name he’s ever heard.

“You okay?” he pulls back and looks over your flushed face. “Fuck, the movie ended.” he glances past you as the credits roll.

“That’s okay.” you nod as you brush your fingers through the hair you’ve been tugging. “Still wanna meet my plushies?” you watch him still staring at your lips but he nods anyway. “C’mon.” you scoot off of his lap and grab his hand. 

He lets you tug him off the couch leaving the warm blanket and glow of the tv behind. His heart starts to thunder as you lead him down the hall and you pull him into your room. He looks around at all of your things and tries his best to avoid looking at your bed. When he finally allows himself to look at it you’re climbing onto it and waving him over. He takes a deep breath to collect himself and walks over to you.

“You can sit here.” you pat the side of the bed. “I already decided this could be your side.” you nod up at him with a smile. “I keep your hoodie here and everything.” he looks down and sure enough his hoodie is tucked next to your pillows and plushies. “Or..” he watches you furrow your brows. “Is that weird? You gotta tell me if I’m overbearing.” 

“You’re not.” he shakes his head, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “I would do the same thing if I had a piece of your clothing.” both of your cheeks flush at his words. 

“Then I’ll send you home with something.” you nod. “But scooch up.” you pull his arm and he sits further back on the bed. 

“I don’t wanna squish them.” he looks at your plushies. 

You move them out of his way and he finally settles back against your headboard. You begin to show him different plushies and offer them to him. He pats their head and sets them next to him waiting patiently for you to show him another. After you go through all of them you sit in front of him and watch the pink dust on his cheeks again. You scoot closer until your knees are touching and you see his fingers tapping against the sheets. 

“What’re you thinking about?” you blink up at him. 

“How cute and perfect you are.” he watches your cheeks flush. 

“Choso you keep being sweet like that and I’m gonna keep kissing you.” he glances at your lips at your words. 

“You’re so soft and smell so good.” your eyes lock on his. “Your bed and plushies are so much cuter in person. The picture you sent me doesn’t do any of you justice but I still look at it everytime I touch my phone.” he likes watching you be the one flustered for once. “You’re so patient with me.” he grabs your hands. “And I wanna kiss you a lot.” he whispers. 

You straddle his legs the next moment and smash your lips to his. His hands find their new home on your waist and you whine into his mouth as he starts to squeeze. You press yourself against him and one of his hands on your waist moves to your back to hold you even closer. He doesn’t want to let you go and has no plans to do so anytime soon. You softly start to rock your hips and he feels like his body is going to catch on fire. 

“Think I‘m gonna die if you keep doing that.” he mumbles before pressing his lips back to yours. 

“Does it hurt?” you pull back worried. 

“No.” he answers quickly. “Feels so fucking good.” his raspy words go straight to your core.

“Know what you mean.” you nod your head and roll your hips.

You scoot closer and squeak when you feel him hardening. His tongue caresses yours as you softly rock your hips against his. Your shorts are bunched in just the right place and with each roll of your hips you’re whining into his mouth. He can feel how hard he is but he can’t bring himself to stop or ask you to stop, instead his fingers tighten on your hips and grind you against him. The moan that falls from your mouth has him pulling back and searching your eyes.

“I‘m sorry.” he takes his hands off you. 

“Please Choso,” you grab his hands and put them back on your waist. “Just wanna kiss you and be close. S’okay.” you nod, letting out a small whimper when he squeezes you again. 

“I don’t wanna hurt you.” he presses his lips to yours. 

“You’re not.” you scoot closer and rock against him again. “You’re making me feel so good.” you nod. “Are you feeling good?” 

“Yeah,” he mumbles into your mouth and you gasp when he jerks his hips up. 

“I‘m sorry.” he pants. “Can’t help it.” he pulls back to look at you with lidded eyes. “I just.. I like you so much.” you watch his cheeks become even more red. 

“I like you too.” you smile at him. 

“Yeah but I want you to know that I‘m not here to hook up with you.” he tilts his head. “Like I like you more than just that.” he nods and watches your cheeks redden even more. “I want..” he pinches his brows. “I want you to be mine. My girlfriend.” he searches your eyes. 

“And you’ll be mine?” you start to smile. 

“I’m already yours.” he softly squeezes your waist. 

“Then I‘ll be yours.” you nod and he swears his heart stops at your words. 

“Really?” he searches your eyes. “Mine?” 

“Mhm,” you nod.

“Can I kiss you again?” he’s already leaning up. 

You nod quickly and he presses his lips to yours. His hands trail up your back and hold you against him. You start to rock against him again and you both moan into each other's mouth. You start to move faster and his hands on your waist help you move you with him. Your body’s been buzzing with pleasure for some time now and you feel it finally rushing towards you. Each jerk of his hips is sending you closer and from the sounds coming from his mouth he’s right there with you. 

He’s been pushing off his pleasure and trying to focus on kissing you but the sounds coming from you have his head becoming hazy. He sloppily kisses against your neck again earning him even louder gasps and moans. Your fingers tangle in his hair and hold him closer as you feel yourself slipping closer to the edge. 

“I‘m- I,” he sucks in a sharp breath feeling his stomach coil. 

“Should I— mmm,” you gasp. “Cho,” you whimper, tossing your head back as you continue to hump against him.

“Keep going, please,” he whines. “Feels so good.” he squeezes your waist. 

“Choso,” you gasp as your orgasm slams through causing you to fall forward against him. “Yes, I- please,” 

His hands keep rocking you against his hips and you bury your head deeper into his neck. All of your sounds are pouring into his ear as your breath fans across his neck. His breath catches and he stills you, letting out a low groan that has you pressing closer to him. His mind is over taken with you as he fills his pants. His hips are still softly jerking into yours pulling whines from both of you. You both sit there still clinging to each other slowly coming down. 

“I um.. I need to go to the bathroom.” Choso whispers, feeling his face start to burn. “I..” 

“S’okay, I gotta change.” you start to scoot off of him with cheeks equally as flushed. “Oh.” you gasp when you see the wet patch you left behind. “I‘m sorry. I didn’t know that would happen. Fuck,” you you close your eyes willing the spot to go away. 

“It’ll dry.” he rubs your arms. “Gotta clean the inside of em anyway.” you peek your eyes open and see his shy smile. 

“Okay.” you nod knowing your embarrassment won’t go away anytime soon. “I’m sorry.” you frown and look at the spot again. 

“I see why you don’t like unnecessary apologies.” your eyes flick up to his at his widening smile. “I’m kinda surprised I could make you feel that good.” 

“Go to the bathroom so I can change.” he chuckles at your pout. “The bathroom is down the hall on your left.” 

He scoots off the bed and you watch him walk to the door. You scrunch your brows as he turns back to you and walks over to you. You squeak when he tilts your chin and places a soft kiss on your lips before walking back out to the hall and clicking your door shut. Your heart thunders as you sit there staring at the closed door. You shake your head as you walk to your closet and start to change, feeling your cheeks getting hotter by the second at what just happened. You start to walk back to the bed when you hear soft knocks on your door. 

“You can come in.” you smile at him when he comes back in. “I think I’m gonna give you a plushie to take home instead.” your turn and purse your lips looking at the options on your bed. “Are there any you liked specifically?” you turn to him with a raised brow. 

“No.” he shakes his head quickly. “I think they’re all great.”

“Hmm..” you look from your bed back to Choso trying to figure out which one fits him the best. “What about this one?” you turn to him with a smile. 

“I think she- 

“He.” you correct. 

“Fuck. I’m sorry.” his cheeks flush.

“Shush.” you walk him over the plushie and push it into his hands. “Ohhh I think you both look so cute.” you look up at him. “Take him home with you.” you nod.

“Are you sure?” his brows slightly furrow. 

“Very sure. And I want you to send me a picture with him when you get home.” you smile. “When you’re all cuddled in bed and warm. With your pink cheeeks.” you cup his face as he flushes.

“We can do that for you.” he leans into your touch. 

“And maybe we can stay at your place next time?” you brush your thumb on his cheek. 

“We can but I do have an annoying brother.” his mind starts to race about having you over. 

“That’s okay. I think I wanna see big brother Choso.” you smile up at him. “Or if you don’t want to introduce me to him we could do something else.” you nod hoping you weren’t overstepping again. 

“No, I want you to come over.” he answers quickly. “Yuji will be happy to have proof that you’re not ai generated.” you chuckle at his words. 

You two continue to talk and giggle for a couple more minutes before you both migrate back out to your living room. He insists on helping you clean up the nonexistent mess but you accepted the excuse quickly to spend more time with him. You both linger not quite ready to be separated but it’s getting late. You pout as you wait for the elevator with him and when you both step in you curl against him and he holds you and the plushie close. You drag your feet as you cross the lobby of your building and whine when he starts to let go. 

“Text me when you get home.” you frown up at him. 

“Of course.” he nods once. 

“And send me a picture with the plushie.” you step closer and he nods again. “And give me another kiss before you leave.” you watch as he softly smiles. 

“I suppose I could do that for my girlfriend.” he leans down and presses his lips to yours. “I think I’ll have another.” his arm wraps around your back, holding you closer. “Maybe just one more for my walk.” he mumbles against your lips and all you do is make small noises in approval. 

After a couple more minutes you both separate and you watch as he walks down the steps. Choso can’t wipe the grin from his face as he walks down the sidewalk. He doesn’t care if he looks ridiculous with his wide smile and plushie in hand. You’re his girlfriend and you actually like him. He doesn’t know he got so lucky with you but he’s thankful. By the time he walks into the front door he’s still smiling ear to ear. 

“Your new plushie got you smiling that big?” Yuji looks at him from the couch with raised brows. 

“She gave it to me.” he looks down at the plushie in his hands. 

“Like one of her own?” Yuji turns his full attention to Choso. 

“Yeah.” he nods. “From her bed and everything.” 

“She likes you a lot dude.” he smirks watching Choso’s cheeks flush. 

“We’re dating.” he groans, watching Yuji’s grin widen. 

“Like officially?” 

“Yeah.” he nods and starts walking to his room. “She wants to come over.” he tosses over his shoulder. 

“Can I meet her??” Yuji is trailing after him. 

“If you don’t embarrass me.” he shuts the door in his brother's face and walks over to his bed to place the plushie next to his pillows. 

He sighs in relief when he takes off his pants and puts on a clean pair of briefs. He takes off his shirt and finally collapses back into bed with his lingering smile. He grabs your plushie and hugs it tightly, feeling giddy at your lingering scent. He grabs his phone and takes a couple of pictures for you before sending them all your way. 

choso: *sent pictures* 

choso: we’re home and we miss you

you: i think im dying

you: you are so fucking cute 

choso: don’t die cuz i’ll miss you and ig my brother wants to meet you 

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

                                      masterlist

[timeslipcamp]

f the teachers tbh

literally from the prologue i was like what is this dude's deal....maybe it was just the discount gojo vibes or the 12 year old being in charge who knows. either way, i didn't trust them.

so let's get into that!

vague spoilers through ep 16

beginning sus, hyde and romeo, treatment of lyca, moby is weird, THE LYING

is moby a demon

the prologue itself is insane enough, and then you walk onto an insane campus and up to the principal's office and then you find a literal CHILD who tells you that you will die in a year

bartender? i'll have what she's having

i did think nicolas was the hottest person in the game for a while though. and then you've got discount gojo and his ex boyfriend who was dead last year and then the assassination classroom substitute--

the teachers are just. so interesting. and shady. literally from the beginning something just felt odd, like the explanations about the ghouls that the chancellor was giving us just felt weird. the further it's gone on, the more i'm thinking that the faculty is in some way responsible for the clash and breaking up whatever good vibes the ghouls had in order to keep them disorganized and unable to unionize against the staff.

lmao can you imagine sinostra getting into union business

but i digress.

let's take a look at some of the times we've interacted with the staff and what led me to believe they would be the antagonists here.

nicolas was up first and i love him. honestly, if we have any allies on the staff, i'd put money on nicolas. he's a medical professional studying anomalous medicine and continues to be kind to yuri even though yuri is sooo bitchy to him. i love yuri lmao you hold that grudge babe.

he's been kind at every turn and does seem to be genuinely helping us. if he flips it'd be a hans from frozen level betrayal. (fun fact that was one of the ONLY characters i didn't catch ahead of time lmao. usually i'm pretty good at guessing but that one blindsided me. fuck you hans.)

i could see him going the way of him siding with the institution but only because he thought it was the right thing to do to help us. like we saw in mortkranken's more recent episode, the second he saw yuri was right, he full on supported us. so again, he might be on the institution's side for now, but if he sees that they're wrong and we're right, he'll flip.

so the second teacher we meet is hyde. he's pretty chill and 100% gives discount gojo and even kakashi vibes. i like him, honestly. if he goes the route of gojo and kakashi he's gonna come off as shady and then end up being on his students side, so. and like even with what we see between him and romeo and taiga, it doesn't feel malicious. it honestly just feels like he's trying to make money on the side 😂

i do love the taiga shovel talk though. if i'm being completely honest, i feel like he's at least partially eating the anomalies so romeo can't sell them to hyde. would love to know why he doesn't like hyde though. it's taiga's wariness and anger that keeps hyde on my shady list. that being said, i think the main reason taiga doesn't like hyde is because of romeo.

he's a real one for this though

but i think it's important to note that nicolas says there's no other teacher that cares more for the students than hyde. that's another reason, even after episode 16, that i still think hyde is on our side against the institution. i think he's playing both sides, and he's going to look shady until the end.

next is the chancellor.

what the hell is up with this dude

he looks like a child from genshin impact

but that's not why i don't trust him. in the beginning he seemed harmless enough, but given his reactions about the gala and ed and the way moby covered his mouth a few times...idk something isn't adding up. i don't have a solid motive or reason yet other than how the ghouls talk about the staff. we have rui, lyca, and sho all speaking openly about how they're bad and we should avoid telling them too much, their wack stances on imprisonment, etc; we have haku saying to just keep your head down and push through; we have one of them back from the dead and alan and tohma looking into it...the list goes on. it does seem to be more the institution rather than the faculty themselves but still

i don't trust them

zero idea what's going on with dante btw. how tf did he come back to life? is he a ghoul now too? hes hot though

the janitor has now been double confirmed to be elias, and that's the one that's working with haru (and taiga and their faceless allies gen and mio and s-something) but he still seems a lil off to me. i saw someone say former dionysia captain but idk how i feel about that. i definitely think he was a former student, and i'm inclined to think he's a ghoul despite having zero evidence because he's working with haru's lil team, but i dunno. something still feels off. i don't trust him, he knows too much.

speaking of weirdos

i hate this dude lol

my opinions aside, he's presented as kind if goofy and money grabbing and all about his kpop band or whatever it is, but this dude is my number one suspect. is he a demon? anomaly? other creature?

i don't trust him one bit. i think the first obscuary chapter is so important because it shows us that the LEADING PREMIERE RESEARCH FACILITY is incompetent at containing anomalies. ed even implies their research methods are wack. once again, it looks like they really don't see anomalies as anything other than creatures and beasts, so why wouldn't this extend to the ghouls?

i'm so fully on the train of thought that something about containing anomalies (aka actual thinking creatures, potentially another ghoul or person) was a big cause of the rift that may have had the faculty do something to cause the clash.

my main theory is as follows:

the staff and the institution don't see the ghouls as people. demons may be involved in the highest ranks of the institution. the ghouls at darkwick were staging a rebellion of some sort in regards to anomaly/ghoul treatment. a traitor was planted, hearts were broken, there goes the clash.

as usual, we have like, zero information still. i think we're about to get a lot more coming up on the one year anniversary of us being cursed, and especially as we start to go back in the loop. but that's my general guess that i'm going with for now

fuck moby tho he a freak

asks and dms always open!

[junglejim4322]

there is a guy who i met through my job, we were the first to come out to each other at work, myself as bigender intersex fag and him as a gay guy. but i have like man pussy and huge tits im literally gandalf big naturals. im very feminine even though im a man. trying to present more androgynous this year. anyways over the years like he was really accepting towards me being a gay man, he would flirt with me, and we had kind of a situationship going on, and he's like, called me just to say my name into the phone a lot and chat, he's cuddled with me, he's been very intimate w/me except when it comes to sex or like, kissing. so we've been like cuddling and going out places together but not kissing or sex. and he would flirt with me about wanting to be my sub, i used to make him laugh and blush a lot, he's said he's attracted to me multiple times before. and recently when we were all out drinking i was complaining bc i never like fag out, i mostly fuck women because im just like. scared of men (except him). i was saying like damn i need like a subby bisexual nonbinary man and like hes been back and forth on whether or not he's bi - my friends all said i was delusional for thinking so - but then he like outright said "damn that's like exactly me it's too bad im unavailable" like WHY would he say that 😭 but what shocked me was moreso that he actually IDs as bi now, but he says he never goes for women because he's scared of interacting with the phenotypical female form, but then he was like "ive always known im attracted to ftms even before i knew i was gay" ... and im like his only transmasc friend, we have an inside sort of joke where I tell him "sorry my transition is taking so long" ... ...during that same convo at drinks he started saying to me like "by all means [myname] you're very attractive to me, like i find you to be a beautiful woman, you're attractive to me" (im bigender and have complained abt not having my womanhood affirmed also just fyi) but like.... like what am I supposed to do here. another friend who knows us both says he only says he's attracted to me to make me feel better. but i know him well enough to know i can't make any moves on him because he'll be like. idk. like i can flirt with him and such but i can't like ask him out or do anything with him. so like am i crazy. is he crazy. are we both crazy. is there something here or is he using me for emotional support since i gas him up all the time and reaffirm how beautiful he is while he continues to fuck other guys. like should i just give up on this guy or is this like a slow burn long ass thing where i should wait and see if he suddenly figures out if he wants to deal with man pussy like he literally repeatedly says hes attracted to. am i just not man enough since im femme. Thoughts

This may be a harsh stance (and it probably applies in a very different way for nonbinary people) but I do not ever get involved with people who are unsure of their sexuality/exploring it at least in a way where I’d be an outlier and I do not recommend any other openly queer people do either. They have their own issues to work through etc etc but you can end up dragged all over the mud in the process. It also sounds like he sees you as a woman but im not sure how you’d feel about that or if im wrong. Good luck but I’d let this one go imho bc so much is going on also I never would’ve read this if you didn’t put something as intriguing as “im literally Gandalf big naturals” in the opening statement so good job on that Gandalf big naturals..

[lacoscienzadiemme]

In this long ass post I will share my thoughts about the new Rose of Versailles movie. Skip if you don't care, drop it if you don't agree, read it if you have time, idk just don't come at my neck it's not that deep and there are still way worse problem in the world. This post contains spoilers.

The movie is roughly two hours long. Not enough for a story like ROV: long, complex, multi-layered, full of narrative arcs and characters. OF COURSE they had to change something and cut off something else. The result? The first one hour and a half is too fast paced - even for someone like me who fully knows the original story and has been in the fandom for more than 18 years. Everything happens and you don't even realize what, why and when things happen. You're just thrown into a flow of events and expected to understand what is actually taken for granted.

There are huge plot holes. Like, HUGE. For example, Fersen leaves France to come back in Sweden and he's back literally five minutes later (and doesn't even go to war). Some of these plot holes are filled with random (and excessive, in terms of quantity, especially in the first half of the movie) musical numbers. Yes, this movie is basically a combination of the manga (the plot is still closer to the manga than the anime, somehow...), the Takarazuka revue version and even includes something from the anime. Or better, it doesn't have something that the anime doesn't have too but we'll come back to this later. These songs are visually very beautiful music videos that pop up when you least expected and are intended to explain things in a different way. Yet, in the first half there are too many of them, whilst the second half almost only uses songs (not instrumental tracks, literally songs) as OST.

Back to the plot holes, the main ones for me are the following.

We don't really get why and when Oscar falls in love with Fersen. We don't really witness the struggle she lives and what's worse is that the ball scene is super rushed up to make room for a musical number (the umpteenth!) where Marie Antoinette somehow steals the attention. We don't even understand why Oscar runs away from Fersen because there's the freaking queen whining and singing in a nightgown. Did we care? No, we didn't.

Oscar and André's love story is kinda messed up. We somehow get that she has feelings for him (otherwise why rejecting Girodelle's proposal saying you don't want to hurt André's feelings?), but it almost feels it's random. At some point, she doesn't want to get married because of André. Maybe avoiding one (1) musical numer in the first half and keeping at least the My André scene of the manga could have made it clearer. Let's say this is the arch where there is the mix between what happens in the manga and what *doesn't* happen in the anime w/ the timing of the anime that I was saying before. Like, they get together on the night of July 12dn but the scene happens in Oscar's bedroom. A combination of anime and manga, methinks. Now, let me start a little controversy because this place is safer than Twitter. I always read negative opinions regarding the change of setting of their only night together. It was changed because the director, Dezaki (or the crew) said they felt like in the manga it looked like a noble woman seducing a common man (of course it is NOT like this, why? Because they got together twenty days before that night). Neverthless, what happens in the movie? We see a noble woman (who has never really adressed to her feeling towards André as love) asking to a common man to sleep with her. We know they are in love with each other because we already know the story and it is common knowledge they are together but if I were a completely newbie I wouldn't get it. It looks exactly what Dezaki said and what definitely is NOT in the manga - even if it is in good faith, because they had no time to develop it further.

Before starting with the positive side of this movie (yes, there are a lot of good things too), I want to say something more about the timing problem. As already mentioned, ROV is a very long and complex story that requires time. A lot of time. Yet, the production team had only two hours (because, apparently, the movie is a "test" to see if they can invest money in a more accurated animated series in the future) to tell it. So, we ended up with what appears to be a summary of what ROV is. And it's not the production team's fault, but the production company's fault who decided to test waters using the wrong story. You don't lift a car to test the strenght of your muscles.

THIS BEING SAID, let's all focus on the positive side of ROV movie.

The last twenty minutes are exactly what the whole movie should be: intense. They make you forget the speed and lack of things you had in the first hour and a half. They are so incredibly touching, I finally found myself completely in the right mood and surrounded by the right atmosphere. Now, this is ROV. The last twenty minutes are ROV. I was surprised by the final scene and cried a lot. I promise I felt mesmerized by this part. Side note: André's chest if half bare even when he's in heaven - MERCI MERCI MERCI!

The bedroom scene (problems aside) is the engine that turns on the last twenty minutes. It's very well written and animated, the sex scene is exactly what it needs to be and more. I felt very involved in it and I cannot express more how good the job is here.

André's and Oscar's deaths are literally a punch in the stomach (and with the original Italian voices I bet it could have been even more touching, but they're in their seventies so they weren't available lol). Oscar being both desperate and mad always gets me. Even in the anime, that mix of desperation and anger touches something deep in me that destroys me. I love the humanity of her reaction. Plus, I appreciated that they focused a little more on where she is shot at. A woman being shot by men in her stomach/belly has a very precise meaning and I'd like more people would aknowledge it.

Another positive side of this movie are backgrounds, settings and clothes. Everything was designed perfectly even in the slightest detail, there was attention to everything - even the paintings on the walls. I wish I could say the same for the caharacters (they're kinda disproportionated, even compared to the manga original style) and animation but... nope (it's 2025 and we still have to pretend robotic animation is a satisfying result - no, it's not). Neverthless, they used their budget very well to have such incredibly drawn settings and costumes.

So, all in all, the experience of this new movie wasn't really bad as a whole. I just wish people stopped excusing every problem it has with the "time justification" because it wasn't prescribed by the doctor, nobody was forced to do that. Us hardcore fans are patient enough to wait for something better (maybe even a new animated series!) and we should even be fine admitting it's overall an ok job. I've seen far worse things (ehm... the live action... ehm...). But at the end of the day, the last twenty minutes made the difference for me and made me enjoy it.

[xaila-space]

Ngl

The way they treated dazzles father does feel wrong, and i do feel bad for him. His reaction can be understood like what kind of father who was ripped from everything he once had, wouldnt react like that. I mean sure you could act a bit less "violent" if you can call it that but like its still a fathers instinct to act for their child.

As stupid as it may sound i believe he could have been so mich better if they didnt tell him about dazzle.

I mean if your gonna tell him his daughter is back mind aswell GIVE HER BACK TO HIM

It dosent really matter if she is mashine or not. Thats still his child. The least they have the RIGHT to do is to help him get the things done for again HIS child.

I mean sure dazzle mentioned ahe wants to stay with sun but like atleast dont word it like your TAKING her away from him.

Im srry if my wording here is bad but omg im half angry half understanding here, like im a person who WANTS to understand both sides before heading to judgement and all but this could have been solved so easily with just normal negotiations.

Dont get me wrong i absoloutly love moon, i love moon and his brotherly act, his character is fun and honest to god i love him

But his wording sometimes makes me BOIIIIILLLLL. I get the point and understand what he means but my man you sound like you wont let dazzles father see her EVER again TvT

And what nexus said about sun (idk if hellucination or the last time they saw each other) ia true. Sun just dosent want to let her go. Mf activly took dazzle from her father and i dont think he feels bad. Now im not saying sun is a bad person here but man thats fucked up.

K im not getting too deep into this i just saw this post and wanted to yap my thoughts out

In conclusion: Everyone fucked up here, but sun's unwillingness to give the child back to her dad or try to explain it slightly better to him kinda messed this up.

gob forbids a character goes through grief falls into depression and then reacts badly after some random people came to him telling him his daughter's soul is alive and was put into an animatronic body, the random people being robots and including the killer of his daughter in his eyes and comprehension, that apparently is now her adoptive dad just because he can, and even better they're all taking her away from him (he has no idea how much away they're taking her) and gets treated like the scum of earth for falling intro depression and addictions after losing his beloved daughter, god forbids he wants revenge and god forbids he's in a terrible mental state, cause surely no human would ever get mad and desperate for their kid dying and coming back and then taken away by the killer himself

surely

[babisawyer]

Ben coming back to the cabin to see yet another cannibalistic ritual

[day-mark]

god i fucking love competitive play, i love watching high level, skilled gameplay from passionate players, i love learning the statistics for each player and the game as a whole, i love hearing everyone and especially the casters glaze the fuck out of my favorite players. mc summit/mojang and mc.c you will be fucking dealt with .

[dndadspolls]

okay! looks like our next poll is favorite catchphrase! submissions for that are now open and will be until December 26th at 11:59 pm MST :]

[runebears]

sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.

and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.

and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.

[apocalypticdemon]

hmm. spiraling. fun.

[gregoftom]

pretty sure i’ve seen romance movies with scenes like this

[sonknuxadow]

does anybody remember that time a couple years ago where half the main voice cast for sonic were on twitter like Im quitting this role goodbye everyone. and then a few months later they were like Haha nevermind hey guys. and they were all back for sonic frontiers

[erikisser]

can't believe all my roommate's friends were so actively working against me when it came to who gets the big room with the balcony attached to it and in the end she actually got it....

[chompe-diem]

also ik some ppl are not the most pleased abt some consistency things like sklonda already being a practicing lawyer but tbh 1) we have no idea how long it takes in brennan's made up fantasy world how long it takes to become a lawyer and 2) it's been several real life years. it's been months since sophomore year but in real life it's been like 4 years. go off i get it king it's not a big deal

[wookgerine]

Love that they take Bella with the gym with them all the time